


Frozen Jedi [podfic]

by litrapod (litra)



Series: Notfic [11]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Aural not!fic, Carbonite, Character Death, Clones, Episode Related, Fix-It, Gen, Not!Fic, Podfic, Podfic Length: 30-45 Minutes, Time Travel Fix-It, mandalore culture, not graphic, sort of...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-05-07 04:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14663409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litrapod
Summary: Where Anakin and Obi wan are frozen in carbonite and the plan goes a bit off the rails. There is unintended time travel, cameos, and criticism of stormtroopers.An aural Not!fic





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As with the rest of my Not!fic this is free to a good home.

Download [Here](http://kalindalittle.com/podfics/FrozenJediNotFic.mp3) 

So I was rewatching Clone Wars and then this happened...  
yeah, that's about it...

Transcript in Ch 2


	2. transcription

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the transcription for the audo

Okay this is random Not- fic or brainstorming or whatever. New Idea - Fandom is Star Wars: Clone wars, the TV series. 

Is Season 3 episode 18 Obi-wan and Anakin have to carbon freeze themselves, and like, Cody and Rex and fives, and you know, a troupe of clones. To break into this super-max Jedi prison thing so that-- To rescue a Jedi who was captured by the separatists.

They have to carbon freeze themselves, or that's Anakin's stupid crazy idea.

My idea is: what if something goes wrong in transit? I mean-- I'm rewatching the episode and they've reprogrammed a couple of battle droids under the command of R2 to get them onto the planet, and it's so easy. It would be so easy for just one missed line of code. Or, one missed security thing on some checkpoint somewhere, and all of a sudden, their ship is either destroyed, lost, or you know, found out somewhere--

Something--

Now, being carbon frozen means they can survive in space. On the one hand that's good because their ship probably gets blown up... *sigh* Sorry R2, You would have done everything you could to-- To keep the mission going forward so that means, you die. Umm, now, There are only two Jedi-- Two who know about Anakin's crazy crazy plan. Presumably the council knows that they're going in and have this mission. Because Obi-wan is like, Obi-wan is on the council, of course they know.

But Anakin didn't tell Obi-wan about the plan until it was already, like, happening, so... There's no chance for Obi-wan to tell the council what the plan was.. and then... even though, the two Jedi who know the plan - who are not carbon frozen - are Ahsoka and Plo Koon.

Who are both awesome, but, both of them know just how quickly things can go off the rails. So-- They, like, hear that things have gone wrong. Or, Anakin and Obi-wan miss a check in. Or something and they're like "Okay, It's okay. These guys are professionals. Sort of. They know what they're doing, hopefully. We'll just wait it out. They're going to be fine."

And they wait.

 And they wait some more.

And Obi-wan and Anakin do not show up.

Neither do the clones who went with them. Yep, Fives, Rex, Cody, whoever else is on that ship. Yep. KIA or at least MIA.

Now this is a problem, but it's not as big a problem as it could be. I mean there's still a war going on. and so the Jedi council, and everybody else, kind of has other things they have to deal with. They can't just sit around going--

"Oh no what happened to Anakin," I mean even Padme is like--

"But what happened to Anakin, Oh crap I have a senate session to go to--"

So yeah, In their few spare moments of down time, everybody's like, "We know they're probably dead, and we miss them a whole lot, but umm, we have a war going on, and we're going to go fight." Because of course Obi-wan and Anakin would not want them to give up, and all that jazz.

So without Obi-wan and Anakin, the Ahh-- The separatists, The separatists, kind of-- like-- take over even faster... It's-- I mean-- Palpatine was already going to win. He's been playing both sides against each other and all that. But it's kind of hard to, like, manage a war with people like Obi-wan and Anakin who keep, like, screwing up plans... and improvising in random ways and all of that, so... It's easier for Palpatine to seize control when those two mauvrics are getting in his way.

And he probably, you know, manipulates the propaganda around their deaths to send people in-- And then also the Jedi they were going to rescue knew about special hyperspace lanes... so the separatists now have these hyperspace lanes. and he's like--

"You know what? You already gave me executive power but now we have this threat of people showing up on Corisant's doorstep and boom. Yeah we're gonna-- We're gonna call in martial law a bit early."

And so the separatists... the empire forms a decade early.

At some point in the future, Obi-wan, Anakin and the clones are picked up by salvagers. Wherever their ship got blown up. They've been floating through space for all this time. Now it depends on who I want to bring in... Because I could just throw them so far into the future that, like, just everybody is dead. Which would be interesting in itself. Because then they would wake up to a completely new dynamic. That the, even the empire is gone, or no, the empire isn't gone, but Palpatine is dead because it's that far in the future... 

And...

The empire has been around for a hundred years... and the sith are, are obviously, like, are secretly obviously in control, or obviously secretly in control. Like you know, it's that, like, open secret that everybody knows that the emperor, whoever he happens to be... Maybe it is still Palpatine, he's just like faked his death, and is, like, ruling from the shadows now, or maybe he's come up with a new persona, or whatever. Maybe Dooku's still around, I mean he's a dark user and without Anakin there'd no reason for Palpatine to kill Dooku. There's no one else who could be a better apprentice then Dooku, at least...

I... I'm going to assume that Ventress is still too much of a, uhhh, like she still has too  much of the light side in her because I, I, I headcanon her as you know-- gray, 100% gray. She will... yeah, no, she is definitely a force user and she started out in the dark side but she has a redemption arc, and I love it, and so yeah.

Umm, so she's got too much light in her for Palpatine to want her as an apprentice even though she's totally badass... And Dooku, is skilled enough to fight off any of the would be inquisitors who want to become the apprentice so -- humm -- whatever.

So somebody, you know, the sith are in control, and their inquisitors are all dark side and Anakin and Obi-wan wake up with the clones and the salvagers who, like, picked them up and realized they were people and unfroze them are super confused. Hell, maybe it's even Han and Chewy. Like, we can't have Luke and Leia because, well, Padme wasn't pregnant yet, so...

Chewy and, and Han pick up the, the clone and Anakin and Obi-wan and are like, "What, Why would we--"

Han, Han doesn't want to unfreeze them. Han is like, "I have no idea who these guys are... but they've been floating in space for a while, I'm not going to chance it."

And Chewy is like, " Hawwwoorrrow" and like there's that kind of not argument that you only hear the half side of because I love it when they do that.

And finally Han is like, "Fine, we'll unfreeze them. Maybe they have secret bank accounts somewhere. Maybe they'll be grateful, arrrarrarr. But like, "But I'm not doing anything else." Ummm... and they unfreeze them and Obi-wan and Anakin could end up with worse people, because at least Han and Chewy have smuggler knowledge. But they're still stuck in the outer rim, and have no idea what's happening on Corisant. And they have no, like, empire credits, and maybe they have hut credits because...

To be fair Anakin would probably run around with hut credits pretty often, because that's what he grew up with and he's ended up in the outer rim enough times to know that, Yeah you kind of need to have some other type of currency.

Ummm, to be fair Obi-wan has ended up in the outer rim just as many times. Don't know if he's actually learned that lesson yet, who knows...

But see, where do I go from there? Because Anakin and Obi-wan are just like "Great, we're stuck in the future. We're Jedi, but we still don't know how to get to the past, and we are the only Jedi left, apparently. Ummm and wait, there's something, there's a resistance?" 

Ummm, and like, Here's part of it, because there's no Luke and Leia:

one: Leia isn't given the death star plans, they're given to somebody else and because they're given to somebody else and because there is no Obi-wan Kenobi off on Tatooine somewhere, they don't send the droids to him and also R2 is dead... so... yeah... And they're not going to give the plans to C3P0. Sorry no. Sorry dude. No one trusts C3P0 with those plans. 

So who are they going to give them to? Fulkrum. They're totally going to give the plans to Fulkrum. And Fulkrum, who has been, you know, working with the resistance for ages, is supposedly-- she doesn't call herself a Jedi because-- or maybe she still does because okay. After Anakin and Obi-wan were blown up, lost somewhere. Ummm Ahsoka found herself without a master.

In this cannon she did not sneak on board and follow them, I can't remember if she actually did in the cannon but she stayed behind, because her master said so. Even though she was totally pissed about it. and when Anakin was declared killed in action, she was left masterless. 

And so Plo stepped up and said "I will take Ahsoka as my padawan." And they made a great team. And they went on a couple covert missions for the war and they made a couple of like general thingys. Ah hahaha. They did a couple of general thingys... that's-- that's a great sentence there. Of course they did. So they, they fought in the war. But because they're both super smart and because Ahsoka is just as much of a mauvric as Anakin pretends he isn't. They manage to escape when order 66 is doled out. Hopefully both of them, if not both then definitely Ahsoka does.

They go into hiding. They possibly like, learn about the chips before hand, and are trying to combat it, but it's too little too late and with Palpatine moving up his timeline they, they have no way to spread the word. They have no way to save the clones, nothing, so they run off. And it's cannon that Wolf is one of the clones who survived the war so Wolf is still out there, and he is still working with Plo. And Wolf is acting as the-- the go between because nobody knows that Plo is still alive.

Ummm.

Yoda is also still alive. And so Plo is kind of like-- instead of Obi-wan surviving the clone war and running off and doing the thing with Yoda and hiding and all that last Jedi stuff. Umm, it was Plo. Umm Ahsoka is also alive and she is off somewhere. She didn't leave the Jedi order--

Or no wait. Would Baris, Yeah. So the whole Baris thing. Framing deal where Baris framed Ahsoka. That still happened. Which means-- instead of Anakin fighting for her it was Plo. So she still left the order, but by that point they were both super aware that something else was going down. That there was some conspiracy in the mix. So Plo takes her aside-- Like she declares that she's leaving, and he pulls her aside going like:

"Padawan, are you sure you want to do this. Something-- we both know something is happening here. This is a symptom of it. we can still fight this."

And Ahsoka is like, "I know. We can fight this. But we can't do it like we have been. I know you have to stay here, but I'm going to fight this from the outside. We-- you're limited too much" and she's like, "I have to go and fight this in my own way" but they set up,-- Like either they set up a secret com link or they're both like "I know that you know that I know" We're working together on this. I trust you. I don't trust all of them but I trust you. We will see each other again.

So that's how she-- Like she escapes order 66 in the same way she does in cannon.

So back to the future where Obi-wan and Anakin wake up. 

They convince Han and Chewy to like drop them off at a planet. Because what? You're going to keep them on the Falcon? What no, and- and- Luckily enough. They're close to a planet that Obi-wan and Anakin are at least vaguely familiar with. It's been a lot of years and Han is like:

"Well there isn't too much empire influence on this planet so ehhhhhh"

A part of me wants to make it Lothal. Just because I want to bring in Ezra and Kanan, but that would be a little bit after... well it doesn't have to be after Rebels. It could be in... It could be in one of the later seasons of Rebels. Because we don't have the whole Luke Leia thing, that would mean that the death star got built earlier. Partially because everybody didn't keep messing up and stealing the plans like they do in cannon, because that happens a lot. And with the whole timeline getting moved up, they want to go to Lothal.

Now Lothal, does have an empire presence, but Obi-wan knows of a temple there. And it's one of the lesser temples, and there isn't so much of a presence there that there's... Han knows that there's rebels there as well. There's a rebel cell there and he doesn't know quite who they are. He knows their call sign because he and Hera have a kind of rivalry that like-- no the falcon is totally better then the ghost. what are you talking about, the ghost is totally better than the falcon. but he really only knows Hera. Or he knows of Hera. He knows she has a crew. He doesn't know them personally.

So he's like, "Okay look, I can maybe get you to Lothal, but that's it. That, like, I'm-- I'm done. I'm not-- I'm a smuggler not a you know, rebel. whatever, because he totally is, but he likes to deny it constantly. Umm, so he goes and drops them on Lothal. 

And -- so part of this -- part of the weird bit of this is that so like, they've got Anakin and Obi-wan who are both, I mean they're both standard human male. They can disguise themselves fairly easilly, and they've been dead for long enough that nobody is going to really recognise them. Especially if they go out of their way to hide the fact that they're jedi. I mean that's how people would recognise them. They'd recognise like-- WTF theres two Jedi I thought they were extinct. Rather then noticing that they are Anakin skywalker and Obi-wan Kenobi. So it's actually the clones who are harder to hide.

Now they could just knock out a troupe of, like a bunch of stormtroopers, and steal their armor and-- pretend to be stormtroopers. And this is an idea that does, like, come up and they do try it and -- and the clones are both like. Well they're going to follow orders. They are totally following orders, but they are secretly, amongst themselves complaining about how this armor doesn't fit right. How can they make armor not fit right. I mean it's standard issue. Come on people. Umm, and then like, it's just-- what's with the markings. You got to mark up your armor. do they not follow--

Like the whole Mando'a culture or armor and painting and they're like "come on, guys this is-- like, blank canvas here. This is not cool." but they're following orders. And they are disguising themselves and they are sneaking onto a empire base and they are trying to get more information. And this is actually really easy? Like it's not so easy that it's obviously a trap. It's just that they've done this a lot. And these new stormtroopers-- god. Let me just say that Rex and Cody and Fives and all of them, are not impressed with the stormtroopers. Clearly they have had sub par training. clearly they have no discipline. Like-- the fact that they snuck in at all-- they're just like, this new bread of trooper is not up to stock. Also the fact that Obi-wan and Anakin can just like do the handwavy trick of-- "We are not here, go about your business" 

And they're like "We were trained against that. We work with Jedi, constantly and we were trained against that. We know how to get past-- Why weren't you trained against that-- oh right, all of the Jedi are dead." *sigh* "You know just because somebody's dead doesn't mean you don't train against them!" 

Umm, so they, they walk into the capital basically and, and hack into their systems and Obi-wan and Anakin are just going like "Okay Han told us all these things that happened but Oh my God. Why? No! Seriously? Wait what happened to Padme? Shit Padme, Ahhhh!"

Ummm, Anakin is freaking out in the corner. Obi-wan is trying to calm him down and also not get them caught. and everybody else is up, like staling all, stealing all the data they can. They're grabbing all this data. They're, because they can't read it all here. They're gonna download it and read it somewhere else where they're not in danger of getting- of getting caught. And they don't have time to sort through what they downloaded, they're just downloading everything.

And so far so good, everything is, like okay we're doing good, we're doing good... and then there's an explosion. 

And they all kind of look at each other and go like "Was that?"

"Yeah I think it was."

"Do you think?"

"Uhhh"

And then the alarms go off. And they're all kind of like "Well I'm pretty sure that wasn't us. But, we should probably go see that, we should go see what that was because if somebody else is trying to do this-- They're probably working against the empire, they're probably--, you know-- we, we should go figure out who these people are. And they, like, finish their download really quick. and run off into-- through the corridors and...

By now I'm going to say that Obi-wan and Anakin have some kind of imperial uniform on. Like when the clones grabbed stormtrooper armor, they grabbed imperial uniforms, or maybe they grabbed uniforms in the changing room or something. And I'm going to say that once again Anakin and Obi-wan were not impressed with the uniforms either. Like how can they move in this. This is way too tight. I can't roll my shoulders properly. How am I supposed to swing my lightsaber with this.

So they're all dressed up imperials, and like a bunch of stormtroopers are already running down the corridor towards the explosion so they're like, Okay we're going to follow these people. They get to the... what the hanger bay? Let's say the hanger bay. And there's a firefight going on. There is a small number of people over by a couple of the ships. Umm, that are blasting away and they are mixed race and they don't have armor on. And the audience clearly knows that this is the crew of the Ghost, but Obi-wan and Anakin don't know that.

And then Chopper gets ahold of one of the walkers and starts just like, wreaking havoc on the bay. And the clone troopers are like -- they form up into a unit and start-- like they're waiting for orders, but they're also like, well we need to blend in so we're going to do some, like badly aimed shots here and whatever.

Meanwhile the rest of the stormtroopers are just like chaos everywhere. And once again Rex and Cody are just like glancing at each other going "Oh my god this is our legacy. How is this our legacy. Why? No. Please god no. Force oh force--"

Anakin and Obi-wan are, they sense other Jedi. That's what they do, umm. They step into the hanger and are immediately like, force signatures! Over there! Strong ones! Yay, two of them. We're not the last Jedi. These two are clearly strong with the light side. Yay. We're going to help them out. So that's what they order the clones to do. They order the clones to get over there, help them get back on the ship, distract the stormtroopers, get everybody over to the ship, and clear the runway for takeoff.

And like, Maybe Anakin say "I'll deal with the walker and runs off and does that. Umm, and there's this argument in binary between him and Chopper, and Chopper is not taking this sitting down. Because Chopper doesn't know this random dude. Chopper is going to fry this random dude.

And Anakin is like, "What, no i like droids. Come on, I'm trying to help you. Come on. Where's R2. I miss R2."

The clones knock out a few of the storm troopers. and then form a defensive position where they're falling back and finding cover. And the crew of the ghost is kind of confused and then all of a sudden Obi-wan Kenobi like, pops out of nowhere, next to them and says--

"You're with the rebellion right? Let's go."

And Kanan is the only one who recognises Obi-wan because yeah, he knew Obi-wan way back when. And he's just kind of like, slack jawed, staring and going like-- 

"Ahh whh aoo umm, Master, Master Obi-wan Kenobi?"

And Obi-wan just kind of like, that little smile of his and goes, "Yes" and he's just, "Yes, we should probably go."

And Hera looks at Kanan and goes like, "Can we trust this guy? Do you recognise him?"

And Kanan starts to like, go into a, "he's-- he's a jedi master, he's, he's, he's" but then he snaps out of it because they're still in the middle of a firefight. And Kanan is a professional, sort of.

And he's like, "Yes, we can trust him. Let's go." And so they get everyone back on the ghost. Or on whatever ship they were trying to steal. And the clones fall back and Chopper and Anakin manage to get on board still arguing, or Chopper is still trying to zap him. Until Hera says, "Apparently they're friendlies, Stand down Chopper."

And Chopper is like "Zrrrrirrit meep breep riirr."

And Anakin's just like, "Fine, whatever I mean, uuhhhh--"

So they, they, they fly off, and of course there's a brief chase, where the stormtroopers and the empire try to, try to chase them, but Chopper and his walker managed to do quite a lot of damage to that hangar bay, and so they have to mobilize forces from a different hanger bay, but everyone had been diverted to that hangar bay-- And so it takes a long-- it takes a bit of time, and the Ghost manages to jump into hyperspace. before anybody can do much damage.

And then we have Obi-wan, Anakin, the clones all on the Ghost-- I'm going to say it's the Ghost because why not. The clones are talking with Sabine, and they're like--

"Hey Mando'a! We're-- Another Mandalorian, great. We were afraid, like, can you-- can you believe all this? We've Yadda yadda yadda..." And they're trying to deal, they're trying to figure that out. And they-- She is super impressed with them because... Because they're all super great warriors, and because they, like complain about how the stormtroopers don't paint their armor. 

And they're all like, "Yeah, we all have our personalized designs, what is this a--"

And she's like "Yes, Mandalorians, art, yes!"

Umm, and Kanan is, now that they're safe, like full on star struck. Like Obi-wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, Oh my fucking god! And-And Ezra is kind of looking between Kanan and the others going--

"Wait, you're Jedi?" and Ezra's kind of like "You're not that cool, you're-- you're not that cool. I mean, what you got frozen? how did you? Frozen in carbonite all this time? That's, That's not-- That's cool, that's so-- That's so cool. That's so, so  cool."

Umm, and Hera is driving the ship. And Zeb is just like, throws his hands up and goes like 'Well, does nobody remember that we had a mission? We went in there for a reason. We were trying to grab whatever it was from the base and they discovered us, and yadda yadda yadda, does nobody remember this?"

And at which point Obi-wan and Anakin produce the data sticks that they like downloaded the entire base's database for- onto.

And are like, "Well, hopefully this will help?" and everybody's jaw drops and goes like--

"So you're joining the rebellion. Ummm, Yeah, Mon-mothma and ummm Senator Bail Organa will want to see you. Yeah we thought all the Jedi were dead except for, you know Kanan and Fulkrum and--" You know slow fade to black because things are going to happen here.

They do go back to meet the rebellion at some other base and the rebel leaders are like overjoyed to see them and of course they join the rebellion, because after Bail and Mon-Mothma explain everything that happened they're just like--

"They did what to the Jedi temple?!? Oh no they did not! They did what with the clones? Order 66 did what? Oh, oh, oh, we are going to kill them. We are going to kill them so hard." And there is no chance that Palpatine is going to get his grubby hands on Anakin now. not after he knows what they did and Padme-- 

See here's another thing, Padme is still alive because there were no twins and there was no turning point for Anakin and that whole deal. She's still alive. She's a leader in the rebellion.

And Anakin is immediately like "Oh thank god, and of course she's a member of the rebellion." And also like, "She's putting herself in danger! Oh no, Padme, no." 

And the Clones meet up with Wolf who leads them to Plo, who leads them to Yoda. And Ahsoka appears at some point because the Ghost crew already knows about Ahsoka. And so once they send out over the, over the rebellion network that "Hey we found a pair of Jedi-- Guess who?"

And Ahsoka's like "You found what?!?! Master!!!" Because he never betrayed her. and he never-- Anakin never betrayed Ahsoka, he never turned dark side. Everything is good and glorious and there are hugs all around. Which only solidifies the fact that Anakin and Obi-wan are so working for the Rebellion now.

And then at some point Anakin manages to get back to Naboo and like sneaks into Padma's family home and like, surprises her, sort of. He's like-- I- I- imagine it going like, he thinks he's being all romantic, like showing up and going "Hi, I'm not dead."-- and she nearly shoots him... she nearly shoots him a couple of times. It's really a good thing that he's good at deflecting blaster bolts... yeah. Because, yeah there have been quite a few assassins, and sneaking into Padme's house at night-- She-- she is not going to stand for that, and  yeah. No it's really a good thing that he's good at deflecting blaster bolts.

Umm, but eventually they work out that yes he is who he looks like and-- and... all is good. All is good, except for you know the empire still exists, but they're gonna work on that. They're gonna steal the plans for the death star, and they're gonna destroy the death star, and-- and all is going to-- and-- and they're going to fix it. they are totally, totally going to fix it. yeah, as soon as they blow up the death star.

 

The end


End file.
